After studying an array of alternative therapies such as shiatsu massage and aromatherapy in evening classes, I become a teacher, completing a four year B.Ed. and taught for two years.  The highlight of that course for me was the module about personal, social and moral education.  This involved creating a safe space, or circle, in which the children could express themselves with no fear of judgement or limit.  You may have heard the term ‘circle-time' from your own children.  Having been part of a ‘circle', I knew how powerful this safe space could be.  Imagine having a place where you are free to express your inner most thoughts without fear of ridicule, with friends who are there to help you and to help you to find answers to your problems.  It is amazingly powerful!

I then had my own family, and thought for a while that I would like to create a company which specialised in this classroom ‘circle-time'.  But nothing was right, until I read Paul McKenna's book, ‘Change Your Life in Seven Days' which is really about how to be your own life coach.  I was intrigued and I can honestly say that it changed my life. 

I wanted to be someone who could do this for other people; all my skills throughout my life had been leading to this. It seemed that Life Coaching was just right for me. 

Lots of people have misconceptions about life coaching.  It is a non-judgemental space where a person can talk, and most importantly, be heard, with a coach who is one hundred percent on your side and is there to help and to guide you.  I had been doing just that in the classroom.  So I enrolled on a coaching course with The Newcastle College and haven't looked back!

I love it that when I coach people their faces look visibly younger and more relaxed.  I love to see people change before my eyes.  It is like magic!  I love creating more success, more happiness, more fulfilment in people's lives through helping them find what it is they need.

What does a coach do?

My favourite analogy of the coaching process is this: Imagine your life is a journey along a road.  You don't know where you are heading but the scenery is pretty and it is pleasant to be walking. 

Gradually, though, you realise that the scenery is repeating itself, the same thing comes around again.  Then you come to a branch in the road.  Actually, there have been branches in the road all along but you haven't noticed, or you were so comfortable that you ignored them. 

Someone is with you to alert you to these branches, so you change direction, just a little.  The first temptation is to think, ‘Hardly worth doing it', but the longer you maintain that change, the further away from the original road you travel.  You just need to keep on that new track, even though the old one tempts you back to comfort, ‘The devil you know,' it whispers.  With just a slight change in direction, a year on you can be in a different country. 

So, a coach shows you the track you are on, points out the choices and helps you take a new road and helps you to maintain that change.  Life coaches are there to push you to change your life for the better; to help you create a more fulfilling, happier life.

A coaching session will, typically, be an hour long and can either be face-to-face or over the telephone.

Why it's amazing

Coaching is not therapy.  Therapy, including counselling and psychotherapy, is for people who have suffered a traumatic event in their life and need help to overcome the emotional damage that may have occurred.  Coaching on the other hand  is for healthy, whole people who need to assess their lives because something is just ‘not right'.  It is forward thinking; looking to what could be in the future. 

More often than not people know exactly what they really want to do or what change is needed and just need some space in their busy lives to take the time to think about how to go about changing or creating what they want and what will make them happy.

During a coaching session, the client will talk for most of the time about their dreams and desires and about what stops them from achieving these dreams.  The coach will ask questions to help the client to clarify their thoughts and to talk about the reality of the situation.  Often, just talking about a situation can be enough to resolve it. 

I had a client who had given up a good career in sound engineering to raise her family, but who spent valuable energy grieving for her former life and resenting her husband for being able still to do it.  During our first session she talked about it and I questioned her as to the reality of going back to that career; what would the impact be?  What were the logistics of travelling all over Europe again?  What would the repercussions be for her family?  She realised that, actually, her priorities had completely changed; that she wanted to spend more time with her children and not less time, and that to go back to that life-style was completely impractical for her.  This was all during the very first session!

Another client wanted to find a career for when he retired from the police-force.  He knew that proof-reading was what he wanted, but just needed to find out about it, instead of procrastinating and in his eyes, wasting time. 

Procrastination is putting off doing things for many reasons, one of which being fear; fear of failure, fear of ridicule and sometimes, perversely, fear of success. 

He researched thoroughly and found that he did not need a degree, one of his perceived obstacles, and that his wife had a contact in the publishing industry.  The contact was the managing director of a firm, and called personally to offer him advice and guidance and told him to get in contact when he was nearing retirement (three years away)!  He has since started to work as a freelance proof-reader and copy-editor.  All this was after just four sessions.

A coach will help you to instil an indestructible self-belief. She or he will help you to clarify your desires, dreams and ambitions into precise goals and will motivate you to take action!  You will join the small percentage of people who truly fulfil their potential in their lives.

Life Focus Coaching:

Clare Davies 01306 877510 or clareydavies@btinternet.com

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